Betty ford says i'm here all night
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
