also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
