The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
