put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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