You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize