wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
