Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think my moral compass just broke
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
