brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
