obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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