Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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