cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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