Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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