How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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