just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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