Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
