Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
