hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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