I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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