Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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