If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
