i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
