About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize