you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize