i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
