Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
