the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I have post one night stand depression
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize