How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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