Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
