yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
