I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
