I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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