I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
