Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
