she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
