barbara walters just said penis...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
