you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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