and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
