So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
