I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize