You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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