come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
