At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there was a trapeze. enough said
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
