the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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