exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
