i don't like sucking hair
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
