Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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