oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
