Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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