id be glad to
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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