I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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