it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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