I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
