the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
