uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
