I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
