Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
