Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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