he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
