just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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