Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
