people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
