I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
God, I missed his penis.
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