Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Naked. naked and bneed help.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
