no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
