My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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