Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
