i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize