he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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