And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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