there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
