I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
