I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Be still, my beating vagina.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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