I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
