yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
