I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
